Life with Molly really does keep getting better and better. However, it’s also getting harder.
A few weeks ago, we made the decision to take away her pacifier. The pediatrician looked Molly in the eye and told her, “big girls don’t use pacis.” Molly was totally on board until we actually took it. Maybe it was a mistake on our part that we went cold turkey, who knows? But Molly was *not* happy with us.
The first night, I sat on the couch and listened to her cry for well over an hour. She finally exhausted herself, only to wake up way too early the next morning. Turns out my late sleeper most likely was just content to lie in her crib with her paci and not wake us. It was like if she wasn’t happy, she wasn’t going to let us be happy, either.
Fast forward two weeks. Two weeks of NO naps and hours of trying to get her to go to sleep at night. The no nap situation was brutal because it wasn’t as if she was content with no nap; she was miserable and incredibly tired, and I was miserable and in constant need of wine.
Finally, after 17 days of missing the paci, Jim asked if we could just give it back to her. When he walked into her room with it in his hand {after I thought I had extricated them all from the house}, you would have thought Jesus himself had appeared in her room.
And just like that, she slept.
So now, I have to decide when we’re going to attempt this again. I didn’t want her to use a pacifier in the first place, then I wanted it gone by one. She was so attached to it that I compromised with just nap and bedtime. Then, I was determined to get rid of it at two and had the full support of Dr. H. Then, to further pour salt in my wounds, we gave it back to her after we took it away! So now what? At this point, I’m convinced she’ll go to Kindergarten with it.
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Preschool started this week. And my kid went to time-out on the second day. Isn’t that lovely?
When I picked her up on Wednesday, she was chatting about using her inside voice, then she threw in some talk about time-out. I waited a minute to see where this conversation was going, and she kept saying, “Molly use inside voice. Go to time-out. Shh…inside voice.”
The girl has some serious voice-control issues, so I don’t doubt that she went to time-out, or was at least warned with a consequence. At the beach last weekend, Molly was shrieking so loudly that Addison decided it would be fun to join in and I’m pretty sure they roused the ‘gator in the creek behind the house.
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I was talking to a mom from the neighborhood this afternoon about how we wish we were the type of laid-back parents that could let stuff slide. But we’re not. I’m not. I like structure and routine and consequences, and I want Molly to respond to structure and routine and consequences. It’s so funny how what we think we want and who we are as parents is constantly challenged and always evolving.
For now, I’m trying to be ok with the fact that my two-year-old still needs her pacifier and that she went to time-out at preschool. I mean, she’s only two. I guess technically as long as she gives up the pacifier before she has a roommate in college and she gains some self-control before she can create a permanent record, then we’ll be ahead of the curve.
Right?
Great post.
I am one of those “laid-back” parents. However, this does not equal no consequences for disobedience. Being a laid-back parent to me is more about not having your children scheduled in every activity possible, or letting them color, cut, or glue outside of the lines when doing crafts. Or even allowing them to help in the kitchen, if interested. I’ve never associated obedience with a demeaner that is more non-controlling than one that needs to control. I just wanted to let you know that it’s ok to be “laid-back,” and still expect and require first-time obedience.